After contemplating mortality for the upteenth time a grand total of two years ago, I came to a very severe and serious conclusion that reaffirmed to me why most religion is useless to me.

*Ahem*

YOUR CHRISTIAN HEAVEN IS SHIT

Heaven - the Christian variety - is really, really stupid. Allow me to explain, and try not to crucifty me, like Big J.

The base concept of Heaven is that once you die, and are proven good of heart and pure of soul, definitions that are way too strict for the modern human being, your soul ascends to Heaven to live in eternal contentment where all your needs are met. A variable paradise, quite frankly.

I'd also have to assume that eternal contentment gets unbelievably boring during the eternity you spend up there. Not to mention that you are sharing space with every Heaven-bound soul, ever. So I'll just assume that it's really just a really crowded, really fancy ghetto full of bored as hell people who are just sick of being happy, teetering on the verge of complacent depression which makes them want to die again.

Wait, speaking of Hell, the two aren't that different! Both offer eternal torment, but the other is more painful and the other makes you grow numb to everything! For the rest of time!

Which is the true punishment? You choose!

This is why I prefer reincarnation as a method of spiritual release. Not only is it not eternal, fully conscious suffering, it's also economic and efficient! It prevents spiritual entropy! Literally recycling for the soul!

And people say going green is a waste of time.