I should be doing homework right now but instead I'm wasting more time. But I promise this is worth it!

In light of recent tragic events I'd like to just say to whoever might see this, that you're incredible and I love you even though I probably don't know you. There's a lot of times where I don't feel good enough. Where I don't feel like I'm doing anything right and should just give up. But every time I feel that way I cry it out, maybe eat some food that's terrible for me, and wake up the next day ready to keep moving forward. 

It's not simple feeling so low and worthless. It's draining mentally, emotionally, and physically. I hate that I haven't spent more time not giving a fuck about people and what they think of me, but all I can do about it now is stop caring about things right now and continuing to do what I believe is right from now on. 

It's important to make changes in your life so you don't get stuck in ruts. These ruts seem to be a reoccurring problem in my life that continue to weigh me down enough to put me in very dark places. So, I've deleted Facebook from my phone and turned off notifications for everything except twitter (only notifications I need for certain things are enabled, everything else is silent). Every time I go to sit on my phone for hours I'm going to put it down and go do something else. Make something, paint something, maybe even go out and just be productive by going to the gym or grocery shopping for my dad. 

I just know there's people out there who struggle. I don't know who they are, and I'm not asking for anyone to come forward and tell me. Keep your silence if that's what you're comfortable with! I just want to put it out there that I care about everyone. I want people to be okay and happy. 

I also would like to add that Anthony Bourdain's passing this past week really hit me hard. What he did on Parts Unknown inspired me more than most. He made the world seem more connected, that people in other countries weren't super different, they just ate different things. Humans are human and we should embrace our differences and come together sometimes and learn about one another. He went to beautiful places, he went to unknown (no pun intended) places that made me think "I'd love to visit there one day", and he brought people together. In person, and he brought the millions of viewers with him. I can't describe the absence his passing puts in my life. It really hurts. There's no use in asking why, only in how I can help someone in the future. I never wish suicide on anyone. It's a terrible place to find yourself in. 

So again, I love and genuinely care about you, whoever may or may not be reading this. <3