DeVusDreamer
Montgomery, AL
Joined Feb 2005
Member #139,732
Posts
Compulsaory Hiatus
So, a few years ago, Rooster Teeth had a data breach and forced everyone to change their passwords. Well, for whatever reason (probably because of some firewall issue by my employer), I had issues resetting my password. I would try again every few months ago, but the issue would persist. Didn't want to bother the site's admins over this, so I just never resolved the issue. Until today!
Man, things sure have changed on RT in 5 years. I remember when there were sponsorship for the entirety of an RvB season. And then they went to 6 months. Now it's all First memberships and several tiers and what-not (I knew that this had happened; while not site active, I still listen to podcasts and kept up with YouTube content).
"Five years is a long time, Jay. What's new with you," I can hear none of you asking since it appears the bulk of my friends have also dropped off. *pours one out for LittleHarf04 and No2lies* *Also nods to Dopp; I see you* Not much has changed. Still working for the state as an Assistant AG. Still married. Still got cats....a baby! Yeah, we had a baby! We had a little girl last October. She has recently discovered her feet.
Hopefully, I'll write again sooner than 5 years.
Help!
At the beginning of this year, I said to myself "Jay," (because that's my name) "I should update my RvB journal more often." And now it's April. How about that?
In February, I started working at a law library in Birmingham. The job has been good to me and I to it. I do many different things, including, but not limited to, delivering the mail to the law school. This morning, I was taking mail to the dean's office, and as per my usual route, I checked the break room attached to the Dean's office to see if there was any mail that needed to be taken back to the library (because that is where the mail going back is usually placed.)
Now, this room is really tiny. There's about enough room for a coffee maker, a small counter top, and the mailboxes. Usually, if there is any leftover food from meetings, it will be placed on the counter top as fair game consumption.
When I walked into this room today, I saw a note on the counter top. It had two words written on it. The first word was written in big letters and it said "Help!" Below "help" was written another word, but it was written much smaller. I walked into the room and much closer to the note to see what the other word said. It said "Yourself."
I don't know why, but this freaked me out. It was like a well laid trap. "Help" draws the victim in, and the word "yourself" informs them that it is too late to escape.
About that time, the Dean of the law school who was in the break room getting coffee (and whom I did not see) asked me how I was doing. My response was "Ahhh!!! Fine..."
The Dean probably won't talk to me again.
In February, I started working at a law library in Birmingham. The job has been good to me and I to it. I do many different things, including, but not limited to, delivering the mail to the law school. This morning, I was taking mail to the dean's office, and as per my usual route, I checked the break room attached to the Dean's office to see if there was any mail that needed to be taken back to the library (because that is where the mail going back is usually placed.)
Now, this room is really tiny. There's about enough room for a coffee maker, a small counter top, and the mailboxes. Usually, if there is any leftover food from meetings, it will be placed on the counter top as fair game consumption.
When I walked into this room today, I saw a note on the counter top. It had two words written on it. The first word was written in big letters and it said "Help!" Below "help" was written another word, but it was written much smaller. I walked into the room and much closer to the note to see what the other word said. It said "Yourself."
I don't know why, but this freaked me out. It was like a well laid trap. "Help" draws the victim in, and the word "yourself" informs them that it is too late to escape.
About that time, the Dean of the law school who was in the break room getting coffee (and whom I did not see) asked me how I was doing. My response was "Ahhh!!! Fine..."
The Dean probably won't talk to me again.
Our cat keeping an eye out for the chipmonk that lives by the window.
iDud
This week, my iPod decided it was going to have its own moment of silence for Jobs. I let it have it's moment of peace, but the problem is it hasn't stopped. Or, more accurately stated, it hasn't started working again. That's just lame, Apple.
A few months ago, my wife and I got a cat. She is a good cat. My wife wanted to name her Poppins (after Mary Poppins for a long story reason) and I wanted to name her Penny (from Dr. Horrible). There was much discussion and after a scientific study (placing the names on note cards and placing a treat on top of each; the winner decided by whichever treat she ate first) it was determined that her name was Poppins. Lauren and I both had cats growing up and looked forward to the independent, semi-affectionate cat we remembered.
This cat is anything but. She plays fetch. She likes to sit on our shoulders. She likes to sleep on our heads. She will hope into my lap when I'm playing Xbox. She likes to play in water (including getting in the shower with you). Cat is crazy.
I wish there was more happening in my life that I could update you on, but there isn't. Life consists of finishing tax school (little to no excitement going on there), job hunting, and playing video games.
A few months ago, my wife and I got a cat. She is a good cat. My wife wanted to name her Poppins (after Mary Poppins for a long story reason) and I wanted to name her Penny (from Dr. Horrible). There was much discussion and after a scientific study (placing the names on note cards and placing a treat on top of each; the winner decided by whichever treat she ate first) it was determined that her name was Poppins. Lauren and I both had cats growing up and looked forward to the independent, semi-affectionate cat we remembered.
This cat is anything but. She plays fetch. She likes to sit on our shoulders. She likes to sleep on our heads. She will hope into my lap when I'm playing Xbox. She likes to play in water (including getting in the shower with you). Cat is crazy.
I wish there was more happening in my life that I could update you on, but there isn't. Life consists of finishing tax school (little to no excitement going on there), job hunting, and playing video games.
Unsettling Quick Response
It's amazing how quickly someone will return your message when you want to give them a brain. <--- This is probably the best opening line of one of my journals of all time.
I'm drafting a will for a client and she wants, upon her death, of course, to donate her brain to the Alabama Brain Collection. I wasn't sure how to accomplish such a task, so I sent an e-mail to the director of the ABC. In the course of legal biz, I expect to hear back from people in a couple of days, best case scenario in a few hours. This lady responded in 10 minutes. I couldn't fault her for efficiency. I can however fault her for the level of subtle creepiness contained in the response.
She wanted to know if my client wanted to donate her brain or her whole body. They could really use the whole body. How old was the client? Can they see her medical records? Can they call her?
It gave me the impression that if they could, they'd take my client's brain with their bare hands. It gave me the jibblies.
I'm drafting a will for a client and she wants, upon her death, of course, to donate her brain to the Alabama Brain Collection. I wasn't sure how to accomplish such a task, so I sent an e-mail to the director of the ABC. In the course of legal biz, I expect to hear back from people in a couple of days, best case scenario in a few hours. This lady responded in 10 minutes. I couldn't fault her for efficiency. I can however fault her for the level of subtle creepiness contained in the response.
She wanted to know if my client wanted to donate her brain or her whole body. They could really use the whole body. How old was the client? Can they see her medical records? Can they call her?
It gave me the impression that if they could, they'd take my client's brain with their bare hands. It gave me the jibblies.
Shotgun Blast!
An update with no theme, aim, or direction. Just a shotgun blast of info.
I got married! I'll put a picture up. It rained. There are those who say that rain on your wedding day is good luck. There are also those who say that it is ironic (don't cha think?) Screw both of those parties. Instead of a groom's cake, we had a punch bowl of banana pudding. You're welcome, wedding guest. If you, dear reader, ever attend a wedding, don't talk to the couple. I feel like I didn't have a reception because people wouldn't leave me alone. All I wanted was to eat the food I paid for and you thought it was a good time to introduce yourself. But it was a lovely day.
Onions are natures mace. I was chopping some onions for a chili. At some point in the chopping process, all the moister in my eyes was replaced by onion juice. And as bad as that may burn, under no circumstances should you try splashing water in your eyes. It'll be like liquid fire in your face.
Federal government, please stop spending my tax dollars on stupid things, i.e. federal lawsuits against Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. You're suing them for perjury? Seriously? I have a JD. I know what perjury is. Perjury is something lawyers made up to scary people into telling the truth. It's not worth suing people over. And why, since we're on the topic, does Congress have the power to form a commission to investigate anything, for example steroid use in baseball. Never mind should it happen or not, why is Congress getting involved? Is there nothing else going on that demands their attention? Stop being stupid, Congress!
"Stop being stupid, Congress!" should be a t-shirt.
I got married! I'll put a picture up. It rained. There are those who say that rain on your wedding day is good luck. There are also those who say that it is ironic (don't cha think?) Screw both of those parties. Instead of a groom's cake, we had a punch bowl of banana pudding. You're welcome, wedding guest. If you, dear reader, ever attend a wedding, don't talk to the couple. I feel like I didn't have a reception because people wouldn't leave me alone. All I wanted was to eat the food I paid for and you thought it was a good time to introduce yourself. But it was a lovely day. Onions are natures mace. I was chopping some onions for a chili. At some point in the chopping process, all the moister in my eyes was replaced by onion juice. And as bad as that may burn, under no circumstances should you try splashing water in your eyes. It'll be like liquid fire in your face. Federal government, please stop spending my tax dollars on stupid things, i.e. federal lawsuits against Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. You're suing them for perjury? Seriously? I have a JD. I know what perjury is. Perjury is something lawyers made up to scary people into telling the truth. It's not worth suing people over. And why, since we're on the topic, does Congress have the power to form a commission to investigate anything, for example steroid use in baseball. Never mind should it happen or not, why is Congress getting involved? Is there nothing else going on that demands their attention? Stop being stupid, Congress! "Stop being stupid, Congress!" should be a t-shirt.Score...I think...
I was in Fails of the Weak Vol 23 (Dreamer12b2)! I'm not sure if this is the greatest moment of my RvBness or the saddest.
So, remember how I said I got engaged. Well, this weekend I get married! It's a celebration. The thing that sucks about this week though is that I have to take a final this week also. And looking for a full time job. Learn from me: don't target close objects with the ordinance, and don't try to get married, take a tax law final, have all your family come into town, and try to move into a new place all in the same week.
So, remember how I said I got engaged. Well, this weekend I get married! It's a celebration. The thing that sucks about this week though is that I have to take a final this week also. And looking for a full time job. Learn from me: don't target close objects with the ordinance, and don't try to get married, take a tax law final, have all your family come into town, and try to move into a new place all in the same week.
Old Habit Die Hard
For some of you, this will come as a shock. I have a pathological and irrational fear of cephalopods and all things tentacled: mainly octopi. The origins of this distaste are not important; just know that I have been keeping an eye on the ocean abomination for some time.
To get you up to speed, here is a short list of the evils of octopi:
1.) The devil came to Eve as an octopus when he tempted her. (Popular belief was that he came as a snake, but if you remember, God cursed the creature to crawl on its belly forever and cephalopod means "stomach foot." Boo-yah!)
2.) What do you do in the event of a shark attack? You punch it in the nose or go for the eyes. What do you do in the event of an octopus attack? You take your divers knife and you cut your own throat, because when an octopus eats you, not only does it consume your flesh, it consumes your soul (because of the aforementioned devil involvement).
3.) What do you do if you're a shark and you're attacked by an octopus? Hope it'll be over soon. www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9A-oxUMAy8
4.) In August 2007, an octopus learned how to open jars. No big deal, until they are twisting open our skulls to suck out our delicious brains and consume our souls. www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6mtZSzYeM0
5.) They've attacked our underwater cameras. What are you trying to hide, octopi? www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1MiTwLVU7Y (See Description: Curious? Curious about what your face tasted like.)
6.) They've attacked our cities. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5nh9SmDgDM
The list is virtually endless, but the latest is:
7.) They have hired a PR company to help with all the negative press. These marketing gurus were faced with an almost impossible task of turning these aquatic death machines into something more family friendly, but they managed to do it. With just a little pigmentation in the right spot, these tentacle terrors have gone from "AHHH" to "Awww..."
www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4160
Your eyes don't deceive you, that squid has a smile on it's "face." He's smiling because he loves the taste of blood. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, ask not why the grinning bobcat grins, ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do to put octopi on the extinct list, and NEVER ask why a cephalopod is smiling.
Innocent Observer: "My, what a big smile you have."
Tentacle Terror: "The better to eat you with!!"
Innocent Observer: "That doesn't make sense...AHHH You're eating my face and soul!!"
Tentacle Terror: "Huzzah!"
To get you up to speed, here is a short list of the evils of octopi:
1.) The devil came to Eve as an octopus when he tempted her. (Popular belief was that he came as a snake, but if you remember, God cursed the creature to crawl on its belly forever and cephalopod means "stomach foot." Boo-yah!)
2.) What do you do in the event of a shark attack? You punch it in the nose or go for the eyes. What do you do in the event of an octopus attack? You take your divers knife and you cut your own throat, because when an octopus eats you, not only does it consume your flesh, it consumes your soul (because of the aforementioned devil involvement).
3.) What do you do if you're a shark and you're attacked by an octopus? Hope it'll be over soon. www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9A-oxUMAy8
4.) In August 2007, an octopus learned how to open jars. No big deal, until they are twisting open our skulls to suck out our delicious brains and consume our souls. www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6mtZSzYeM0
5.) They've attacked our underwater cameras. What are you trying to hide, octopi? www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1MiTwLVU7Y (See Description: Curious? Curious about what your face tasted like.)
6.) They've attacked our cities. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5nh9SmDgDM
The list is virtually endless, but the latest is:
7.) They have hired a PR company to help with all the negative press. These marketing gurus were faced with an almost impossible task of turning these aquatic death machines into something more family friendly, but they managed to do it. With just a little pigmentation in the right spot, these tentacle terrors have gone from "AHHH" to "Awww..."
www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/4160
Your eyes don't deceive you, that squid has a smile on it's "face." He's smiling because he loves the taste of blood. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, ask not why the grinning bobcat grins, ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do to put octopi on the extinct list, and NEVER ask why a cephalopod is smiling.
Innocent Observer: "My, what a big smile you have."
Tentacle Terror: "The better to eat you with!!"
Innocent Observer: "That doesn't make sense...AHHH You're eating my face and soul!!"
Tentacle Terror: "Huzzah!"
In four years,
I'll be thirty. I'm too old for this. Think its time to file for social security.